But here is what I missed. A plan needs more than milestones. It needs checkpoints, and it needs real breaks built in, moments to stop and weigh the consequences of what the plan is asking of you. I never built those in. Instead, every time I hit a milestone, I adjusted it. And the adjustment almost always meant: do more.

I learned that pattern early, in the consumer finance industry. I was a vice president overseeing thirty finance company offices and roughly three hundred people. I was twenty-seven years old. I worked as hard as I knew how, but I did not have the personal maturity to handle what came with the job: the pressure I put on myself, the expectations that kept climbing, and the political maneuvering inside a major corporation.

That is where I want to go back to, the readjusting of milestones, because while I was at ITT, I learned a term that still sticks with me: BAH(S). Budget Ahead, or Short.

Here is what that meant in practice. You could never actually get ahead of your number, because “ahead” was never allowed to stand. The moment you ran ahead of budget, the system reset. It took where you stood, added the rest of the year’s budget on top, and handed you a brand-new target. Back to zero against plan. Every time.

It was a brilliant system for performance. It was terrible for me, physically, emotionally, and in my relationships. Once I understood how that system worked, I stopped questioning it, and I carried that mindset for almost thirty years before I looked back at what it had cost me.

I learned a lot in those years. I achieved a lot. I also lost a lot.

Here is where I will leave it. We all need milestones. We need action. And we need time to reassess, real checkpoints, not just bigger numbers. We also need downtime, for ourselves and for the people we love. That is the part I missed.

Goals without action are just dreams. But do not let your goals become your identity.

See more of my work: https://tonyverse2201.gumroad.com/l/milru

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I’ll tell you why. I know people need to read it. There are folks out there who are scared, doubting themselves, facing real tragedies, and not sure where to turn or whether there’s any hope left. I can’t tell anyone what the right decision is for their life — but I can offer hope.

I’m sitting here on a Saturday night writing this, and I plan to get back to work on the book tonight. I’ve also decided I’m not spending a dime promoting it. I didn’t spend much on the first book either — not after I realized Meta was making more off my ad dollars than I was, and what came back to me amounted to zero. That made this decision an easy one.

I’ve decided to live true to what I believe, and there’s no easy way to do that. If you don’t already follow along there, I’m also on Facebook at The Dirt Road with Tony V (https://www.facebook.com/TheDirtRoadWithTonyV/), where I post shorter reflections throughout the week.

Why “the Dirt Road,” you may ask? Sometimes I think I’ve chosen the less-traveled paths in life, and that’s probably made things harder than they needed to be. Over 30 years ago, I heard a song by Sawyer Brown called “The Dirt Road,” and it stuck with me. It’s helped me embrace change, stop fearing what’s different, and find the lessons along the way.

I’ll close by saying I love writing, and the sense of accomplishment it gives me. I hope these words land with you the way “The Dirt Road” landed with me all those years ago. I’m grateful to everyone who takes the time to read this — and if it means something to you, I hope you’ll share it.

With much love,

Tony

V

Monday started off even worse. I rose to go to work and just couldn’t get going. I checked my blood pressure and it was low — I mean really low. I panicked. I was frustrated when neither my medical oncologist nor my primary care physician could see me immediately. I had a scheduled appointment Thursday so I decided to tough it out. That didn’t go well either. I called off work, my BP was too low to drive, and I had to ask a friend to take me to the doctor’s office. You never realize how fortunate you are to have good people in your life until you are completely dependent on them — and they show up anyway, with their time and their love, without hesitation.

I’ve been working on gratitude since my cancer diagnosis six years ago. I work hard at it. But moments like this week remind me that I still have more to learn. Real gratitude isn’t something you master. It’s something life keeps teaching you.

Today my BP is actually running high — my doc told me to lay off the meds for a few days. I never thought I’d be grateful for high blood pressure. But here we are. Another lesson. Another reminder that there is always something to be thankful for, if you’re paying attention.

Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

See more of my work: https://tonyverse2201.gumroad.com/l/milrum

Subscribe and follow the journey:

Tony Ventimiglio / The Dirt Road with Tony V | tonyvent.com / It’s A Glorious Day — Available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/author/tonyventimigli

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I am also anxious. Some days, very anxious.

I want to talk about that today — because I think you might be too.

Do you sometimes feel anxious? Is it getting worse?

I wrote those two questions in my journal on August 21, 2023. I had been fighting prostate cancer for four years at that point. Between the worry about the cancer itself, the medical system, insurance companies, drug manufacturers and their prices — there was always something pulling my attention back to the disease. And that attention created anxiety. Often, it became overwhelming.

On top of that I was trying to work full time. The job brought its own pressure. And underneath all of it — the financial reality of living with a long-term illness that does not pause for anything.

I knew I was not alone in this. I knew that many people face challenges far worse than mine. But knowing that does not make the anxiety disappear. It just reminds you to keep it in perspective — which is its own kind of work.

What I learned about dealing with it.

I have written before about removing unnecessary negativity from my life. That is a standing practice and I will not repeat it here. What I want to focus on is something more specific — something I came back to in that 2023 journal entry and come back to still today.

Steps.

Not a strategy. Not a system. Steps — the kind you climb one at a time

I grew up in Pittsburgh. My childhood friends will remember the steps at Sto-Rox Jr. High — especially on days with heavy snow. Those steps were a challenge or a blast depending on your perspective. What they were not was optional. You could not leap them all at once. You went one at a time.

When the number of things pressing on you becomes overwhelming — the cancer, the bills, the business, the learning curve, the appointments, the uncertainty — trying to address all of it at once is exactly like trying to leap all those steps. You stumble and fall. The weight of the whole pile is what creates the paralysis.

One issue. One step. Handle it. Move to the next one.

It keeps you from being overwhelmed. It improves your attitude. It keeps you focused. And when you feel anxious — genuinely anxious — step back. Take a walk. Spend time with someone you love. Read. Exercise. Play with the dog. Then come back and take the next step.

Two years later. Still the same fight.

I wrote that journal entry in 2023. I am writing this in 2026. The cancer is still here. The anxiety still shows up. The steps are still the answer.

What has changed is the number of steps in front of me. Back then it was cancer and a job. Now it is cancer, a job, a book I published, a business I am building from scratch, platforms I am learning, and everything else life still demands. The pile is bigger. The method is the same.

One step. Then the next one.

Three verses I come back to.

“Anxiety in the heart of a man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.”

Proverbs 12:25

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Matthew 6:34

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9

If you are feeling anxious today — about your health, your finances, your family, your future — you are not alone and you are not weak. You are human. The pile in front of you is real.

Pick one step. Just one. Handle it. Then pick the next one.

That is how you get up the hill.

— Tony V

The Dirt Road with Tony V | tonyvent.com

It’s A Glorious Day — Available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/author/tonyventimiglio

See more of my work: https://tonyverse2201.gumroad.com/l/milrum

.

I am 67 years old. I have Stage 4 prostate cancer. I am building a business from scratch, writing, publishing, learning tools I had never heard of a year ago, and doing all of it in the hours around a part-time job and treatment appointments.

I am also anxious. Some days, very anxious.

I want to talk about that today — because I think you might be too.

Do you sometimes feel anxious? Is it getting worse?

I wrote those two questions in my journal on August 21, 2023. I had been fighting prostate cancer for four years at that point. Between the worry about the cancer itself, the medical system, insurance companies, drug manufacturers and their prices — there was always something pulling my attention back to the disease. And that attention created anxiety. Often, it became overwhelming.

On top of that I was trying to work full time. The job brought its own pressure. And underneath all of it — the financial reality of living with a long-term illness that does not pause for anything.

I knew I was not alone in this. I knew that many people face challenges far worse than mine. But knowing that does not make the anxiety disappear. It just reminds you to keep it in perspective — which is its own kind of work.

What I learned about dealing with it.

I have written before about removing unnecessary negativity from my life. That is a standing practice and I will not repeat it here. What I want to focus on is something more specific — something I came back to in that 2023 journal entry and come back to still today.

Steps.

Not a strategy. Not a system. Steps — the kind you climb one at a time.

I grew up in Pittsburgh. My childhood friends will remember the steps at Sto-Rox Jr. High — especially on days with heavy snow. Those steps were a challenge or a blast depending on your perspective. What they were not was optional. You could not leap them all at once. You went one at a time.

When the number of things pressing on you becomes overwhelming — the cancer, the bills, the business, the learning curve, the appointments, the uncertainty — trying to address all of it at once is exactly like trying to leap all those steps. You stumble and fall. The weight of the whole pile is what creates the paralysis.

One issue. One step. Handle it. Move to the next one.

It keeps you from being overwhelmed. It improves your attitude. It keeps you focused. And when you feel anxious — genuinely anxious — step back. Take a walk. Spend time with someone you love. Read. Exercise. Play with the dog. Then come back and take the next step.

Two years later. Still the same fight.

I wrote that journal entry in 2023. I am writing this in 2026. The cancer is still here. The anxiety still shows up. The steps are still the answer.

What has changed is the number of steps in front of me. Back then it was cancer and a job. Now it is cancer, a job, a book I published, a business I am building from scratch, platforms I am learning, and everything else life still demands. The pile is bigger. The method is the same.

One step. Then the next one.

Three verses I come back to.

“Anxiety in the heart of a man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.”

Proverbs 12:25

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Matthew 6:34

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9

If you are feeling anxious today — about your health, your finances, your family, your future — you are not alone and you are not weak. You are human. The pile in front of you is real.

Pick one step. Just one. Handle it. Then pick the next one.

That is how you get up the hill.

— Tony V

The Dirt Road with Tony V | tonyvent.com

It’s A Glorious Day — Available on Amazon: https://a.co/d/0f3n3CxD

Hardback, paperback, and Kindle.